Graduation Day

Excuse my French, but Holy Fuck today has been a long ass emotional day.

Today started off with church, acknowledging the seniors that are graduating... We all got bibles and stood up to talk about what we were planning to study. Then, my parents, boyfriend, little bro, and I went out for lunch..

Then... The ceremony.. Omg. I had to speak at graduation and it went great, but I swear I almost had a heart attack.
Then one of the girl's brothers showed up from Afghanistan.. Awesomely cool, but we all bawled.

We took pictures after the ceremony.. and I cried.

We went back to my parents house and at lunch, and I cried.

It has been such an emotional day..

On top of that I was up late last night with my grad party and I am going crazy nuts knowing that both of my grandpas are headed to the hospital within a few days.. One with esophogus cancer, the other with pancreatic.. CANCER SUCKS!

Well, my grad party almost went ok if it weren't for my freakin grandmother, who spent the entire night bad mouthing my biological father who wasn't even there.
So he got his wish, even from 250 miles away, he ruined my party.. Thanks "dad"
I hate you too.

I know I don't need it, but I just want him to say congrats, or I'm proud of you, or great job on your speech, not that he was there anyway... Oh well. Jk... He has never been apart of my life.. Why start now..

Well.. on top of that.. My boss (of 3 years) couldn't even show up to my grad party... actually, it wasn't just him.. None of them could. I had two people from work show up. One, the party was held at their church and she is currently living with the reverend... Two, is totally taken advantage of at work and I am pretty sure I am the only one who says thank you/ that I appreciate what she does. (Pretty sad that those are the only two who showed up...) My manager showed up if that counts.. but he is also my boyfriend.. so just kidding..

After 3 long years of me working my ass off for that store.. that is the thanks I get. I didn't get a congrats card from anyone at work. My bosses didn't show up. I'm more than a little hurt..

I'm going to turn my uniforms in on Tuesday and I WILL tell them that I am hurt.. That it is bullshit..

UGH. Could this day get any more emotional..
I doubt it, but I am going to bed.. Because today has been a long ass day from hell..

Sincerely ,

Anonymous

Long Emotional Day

My grandpa is dying of pancreatic cancer. He got diagnosed when I was a Sophomore in high school. He was in the hospital for months and from there, they gave him 6 months to live.Now, I am graduating.. And he is still alive. He always said his true goal was to make it to see me graduate from high school, but as next Sunday gets closer and closer... All I can think about is him leaving... And I couldn't stand that... I don't know what I am going to do when he does pass..
   Also, I leave for AIT in less than a month, I know he is most likely going to pass when I am gone and I will end up flying home for a few days because of it. It is almost inevitable.. But I just can't stand the idea of losing him...

See, my grandpa has been the only grandpa that I have had around for my entire life. I have 4 other sets of grandparents. (The kind that you see once or twice a year, if lucky, because they live so far away. Arizona, Iowa, Grand Island, and Bennett)

Its been a long week. Especially with all this graduation stuff going on. I am ready for all of the graduation stuff to be done...

Another Stressful day done, five more left.. Blah..

Sincerely, 

Anonymous

First Blog Post

Okay, This blog is purely for me. It is my journal, but if you have happened to stumble upon it. Well, Congrats. You can read whatever you would like and comment on whatever, but just know you are special. Because not even my family reads this from me.

I started the blog because I have too much going on in my life, and only a few people to talk to.. But it's not that I am suicidal, or looking for attention. It's that I am overwhelmed at times..

Next weekend at this time, I will be preparing for my graduation party.. I will be stopping at a few, but mostly it will be about me. For once.

Now, if anyone ever reads this, they will probably be thinking "Oh, its boy drama.." But its not.

My boyfriend and I have been together for just under 2 years at this point. We live together in this cute little rental house.

My problem is that I am far beyond my years, as some people would say. I am not a fan of high school stuff that more seniors live for. I haven't been to a basketball game since sophomore, right before I dropped band so I could work next to full time during the school year.

I am in the military, and I know that isn't really a great tribute to me being more mature than everyone my age because there are soo many 17 year olds that have enlisted in the guard, all over the country.. But not from my area. NO ONE joins the military here.. It's kind of unheard of in this part of the town. Everyone waits until they graduate high school and realize they wasted away their high school years and don't know what they want to go to college for or don't have the money to go to college..

Well.. that pretty much sums up who I am..

    But as for today. Today I am stressed to the max. I am crazy losing my mind because all I can think about is the speech I have to give next sunday at graduation.. I don't know why I volunteered for it anymore.. BLAHH!

    I am also stressed about my grandpa. You see, my grandpa has pancreatic cancer. He has since my sophomore year... But he kept telling me that he was going to live to see me graduate.. well it is so close... and I really really can't stand the thought of him dying right after graduation. I really feel like that is what it will be. God is leaving him here until he fulfills his promise to me, then God will take him away. I couldn't take that...

Well, those are my two big stressors right now, I know you will hear more about both of them as the time comes closer to each of them...

Sincerely,

Anonymous